Chronic illnesses create limitations, and learning to find the fine line between “okay” and “too much” can be difficult at times, as can remaining mindful of the line. I, myself, have a tendency to willfully ignore my limitations. After a few days of feeling miserable, I get tired of resting and taking it easy, and the moment I start to feel a little bit better, I’m off and running. I know I’m doing too much, but I can’t help it – so much has been left undone for days. I feel a need to accomplish things.
When I was first diagnosed with lupus, accepting that I now had limits and learning those limits was an immense struggle for me. The lack of cooperation from my body angered me, and the idea that I had to hold back frustrated me. I didn’t want my life to change. I had plans and I didn’t want anything interfering with them, especially not some stupid illness. Of course, I really didn’t have any choice in the matter. Change comes whether we like it or not.
I would like to say that I have developed a foolproof method for determining these limits and sticking to them, but I haven’t. I have learned that overdoing it does have a cost, but only you can decide whether that cost is worth it to you. For example, when my family comes to visit, overdoing it is worth the expense. I just know that after they’ve gone home I will have to take some time to recover. Or if I know that tomorrow is errand day and I’m going to need a lot of energy, then working hard all day to get the housework done probably isn’t worth the expense. The housework can wait until after I’ve recovered from errand day. The dust will still be there in a few days, right? (Sadly, yes.)
Experience has taught me that the danger is in never allowing any recovery time. If I continually overdo it and never allow my body any recovery time, I will end up in a bad flare, my body and my immune system will rebel, and I will end up in bed (in the best-case scenario). Sometimes I am so involved in what I’m doing that I don’t see the signs that I’m overdoing it, but usually my body tells me, if I’m willing to listen. Then I need to pause for a moment and decide, do I continue, or can I take a break and rest here for a moment? Sometimes even just a brief break to sit down and take a few deep breaths is enough to keep me going for a little while longer. There are times when a longer break is necessary, and then I have to decide if I’m willing to do that, or if I want to continue and just pay the price over the next few days. Making a conscious decision is important, though, because ignoring the messages sent by my body will only lead to trouble.
Of course, I still get myself into trouble sometimes, but I don’t do it as often as I used to. I have become more mindful of my need to take a break or to put my feet up and rest for a while. Several times recently I have actually said out loud, “Okay, I think I’ve done enough now,” and that’s real progress for me. (Usually I had to be threatened and dragged away from what I was doing.) Being mindful of these limits and working within them may help keep those flares under control. As aggravating as it can be to rest while there is work waiting to be done, it’s much more aggravating to be unable to get out of bed for days, and I really hate it when I don’t even have the energy to laugh! So try to take it easy every once in a while, and save some energy for love and laughter.
6 comments:
Christine, Thanks for your insight. I've been living with Lupus for 9 years now, and I still find it amazing, that it's so much easier for me to accept my limitations, than it is for my family and friends to accept. I seem to get so caught up in defending my health, or lack there of, that I get angry and withdraw from those closest to me. The mentality of "if you can't see the disease, then it must be in your head", gets to be too much, on down days. Good Luck to ya!
I definitely find that limits are the absolute hardest part of the disease for me. I can never seem to figure out what they are as they always seem to be changing on me! Like you said, your body usually tells you but sometimes I refuse to listen because I just absolutely want to get the stuff done. Be careful with the worthwhile exhaustion days. :) Take care - hope you can rest up and feel better soon!
Christine,
Thank you for this! You just put words to how I feel most of the time with my Lupus. The hardest part of this illness is to re-adjust your way of living. Once again thank you!
Thanks to all of you for reading my post, and thank you for your lovely comments. It's obvious I'm not alone in my struggle to accept limits! I am sorry to hear that one of you meets with resistance from friends and family when trying to explain these limits. I hope you can find a tiny bit of comfort in knowing that some of us understand that lupus is never "just in your head."
Thank you again for reading. I wish you all good health!
Man, the limitations are the worst part of having the illness in my opinion. I just despise that fact that I can't do what I want to do when I WANT to do it. Its no fun, but hey we still have to love our life... Stay positive and stay strong!!
http://icantfitmyjeans.blogspot.com
With Love
Simmi
I understand living with lupus for so many years. We are the queens of overdoing things. When we feel good we overdue it to feel human.
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